I was never alone, HE WALKED WITH ME

A test of FAITH

Today marked the 2^nd day that I am not required to open and read these numerous books and handouts I can now only see afar. The time 1 wouldn’t be guilty if ever I will end up with longer hours of sleep (than what I am supposed to). Because for the 1^st time, I don’t have an idea of what am I going to do next. The very same day, I was having tremors as I opened the PRC website, having mixed emotions on what am I gonna see…

WHERE IT ALL STARTED?

Why I wanted to become a doctor.

Growing up with 2 doctors around, (the most amazing twins I ever met!), I cant help but dreamed of becoming like them. I can clearly recall my ambition speech delivered at the gymnasium of my elementary school, 16 years ago, around the same month as now. The moment I told everyone what I wanted when I grow up. The day I told them how I really want to become a doctor with a heart of a dove, strength of a lion and with a mind of a serpent. I want to become a doctor who can be an instrument of Christ through healing, and not somebody who was just wearing a stethoscope around the neck.

At that time, I thought, “malayo pa lalakbayin ko”.. but looking back, everything feels like yesterday.

MEDICAL BOARD PREP

I thought these 4 months of preparation would just be any other months. There will still be Holiday celebrations, family gatherings, and weddings to attend to. Just like any other 4 months of a year. But halfway through my review, about December, I felt something strange. I thought the 4 years of medical school + Internship was difficult enough, but walking through the road to PLE, all the 4 years of difficulty, sleepless nights, endless exams, hardships and even heartaches were all summed up in just 2 months before the boards.

CHOOSING A PLACE TO STAY

I have no idea where Fairview was. Though I am going around QC most of the time, I was never been to Fairview, or if I was, I just can’t remember I did.  Night before the scheduled search operation, I prayed to God to help us find the best place to stay. I took a cab the next morning, When I reached Jollibee Pearl Drive, the driver has no change. We found a store few meters away from pearl drive. I noticed a placard posted outside, it says “Condo Unit for Rent, fully furnished, for short term lease only, preferably board exam reviewers” . I texted the number posted immediately, waited for them and we sealed the deal in no more than 2 hours. I guess that’s it.  The place God provided us-- Comfortable, convenient, accessible to the review center on an affordable price.

GOD KNOWS WHAT WE NEED BEFORE WE ASK HIM

“Our Father knows what we need before we ask Him” Matthew 6:8

I can really testify on How great our God on answering prayers that are not yet spoken.  We were asking for reviewers from our friends and batchmates who took the boards last august 2015. In some unforeseen circumstances, there were reasons we cant get any. Until we decided not to ask anymore. Seated at our sofa, my friend Apple told me, “hayaan na natin mae, hindi naman siguro natin ikakabagsak yung hindi natin pagkuha sa mga yun”. Well I guess she’s right. We have a mighty God who can deliver us with victory through this.

Few days after, we noticed a big box near the kitchen sink. It was wrapped with packaging tape, knotted tightly with rope. We called the owner of the condo, and ask what was that, the she told us, “oh, those were reviewers from the previous tenant, you can check them if you want”.

I have 1 set of UPEC reviewers back in medschool, but unfortunately, someone borrowed and returned it to me, with one subject missing—anatomy. As we opened the box, I felt something strange, my body shivered with amazement, when I found lots of review materials with only 1 UPEC subject—and its ANATOMY. Though we have no time to read those, the fact still remains. God showed us something to help us clear our minds from doubt, that whatever happens, He can still see us, and He will shower us with His blessings.  The house was a God given gift, the box inside was an additional surprise!

And the List of God’s answers to unanswered prayers goes on and on and on.

EMOTIONAL SUPPORT

Sabi nila, during the boards, you should find a buddy who will make it with you, not break you. During the boards, I have 2 roomates, Apple, and Joan. Apple was my friend for years, medschool classmate, buddy, seatmate, and whatever you can think of. I am forever thankful to God for giving me the perfect housemate. I was supposed to be studying alone, in my own apartment, but in just one snap the tables turned nd for the reasons I don’t know, I ended up with them, and maybe that’s the best decision I made at that time. I have said this over and over again, but the dreaded fight becomes a lot easier, when there is someone fighting with you. And there I have Apple.

I always go home for the weekend. My father even told me, “Dyan ka nalang, isang buwan nalang naman na, umuwi ka nalang pagkaboards.” But I cant.  Day before the boards, it was a Saturday, I attended my home church, I spent the day with my parents. The whole church prayed for me. I was empowered by spirit but for no reasons, that night before my parents leave me in my condo, I told them “Tomorrow is the day, whatever happens, anak nyu pa din ako, nothing will change” I hugged them and waved goodbye.

I TRUSTED MYSELF MORE THAN GOD

With my entire education, for the record- I never studied on Sabbath. Never it crossed my mind. But Friday night before the weekend, I was on a faith struggle, on looking on my notes on a Friday night. I did fell asleep. I woke up 4am still thinking of reading, and browsing on my notes.  I ended up crying. I was seated infront of the church that Sabbath and during the Sabbath School, the only thing that I heard over and over again was “While we were sinners, Christ died for us”. I was eaten by guilt at the moment. How can I ever think of betraying Christ’s Sabbath, when He gave His life to a sinner like me. I cried silently in the church.

I was cramming night before the exam, thinking of memorizing all I can. The next morning, I was so confident bringing all my stock knowledge, 4 years of medical school including 1 year of internship with 4 months of intense structured study at my review center. That was the most stupid thing I ever did. When I opened the first questionnaire, I realized, I shouldn’t depend on myself. I should be looking at the mighty power of Christ. That night, I prayed hard, cried with Him… feeling sorry for being over confident and forgetting that God is the only one who can deliver me through this. I didn’t study, instead, I just slept early. The next morning, all I have with me is Christ. And now I am sure, I am bringing more than enough.

2 DAYS AFTER THE LAST EXAM DATE..

If you’ll ask me, one thing I learned from this is that--- Physician Licensure Exam was never a test of what we now, but rather a TEST OF FAITH.

There are subjects that I only had 9-11 sure answers, but when PRC released the result of successful examinees, I saw my name! I couldn’t explain what I actually feel. I can’t describe what my heart felt. All I know is, am thankful to the wonderful power of God! That even I doubted His delivering power, His control of my future, that even I have a faith as small as mustard seed—He moved mountains, He performed miracles, He helped me conquered my goal!

The victory was not mine, its all HIS! Praise His Holy Name!