When the truth hurts…. Friends more than I deserved

 I had this Vietnamese co-intern way back in my college days, who knows how to do palm-reading. I was not really into those things, as I believe we are responsible for every decisions we made and we will make that can determine our destiny, however everybody is so hooked up to know what future their palms might tell them.. finally I decided to give it a chance. After reading my palm, I was like “Oh My.., She’s Right..”

Well this is what she told me:

“You have problem regarding friends”

I just laugh… telling her, “Now I know, this isn’t true… I have no problems with my friends”

She answered back… and i will never forget what she said, that even until now, when am thinking about it, I’ll just say… “Oh My.., She’s right…”

Well… here it is…

“You don’t have problems with them… But they may have problems… with you… “

I was stunned for a minute… every word kept echoing in my mind…

At that time I had to pretend I was not affected, well infact I was..

“Those were just stupid random palm-reading… don’t let it get into you”.. I kept telling myself… as I continue doing microbiologic cultures on agar plates…

I am still thinking about that while lying on my bed that night… looking back, I only have a handful of friends…  few in my grade school years and few girlfriends during high School… but I guess I haven't given them the value that they deserved.

That night, i cried myself to sleep..

Since then… I can’t forget what my Vietnamese Co-intern told me.. until I get to Med School. I started making acquaintances, friends.. Medschool is a lot harder than my bachelor’s degree. You literally need a lot of friend.. but will you only need them to survive medschool? At that time, I was a kind of person filled with pride.. thinking “if they don’t need me, I don’t need them! Who cares?!”.  I thought I could live alone. But the quote I learned on the first grade still holds true, NO MAN IS AN ISLAND.

I was alone sitting at the couch looking at far, when my mom noticed me… I was really in deep thoughts of why I only have a handful of friends. Why am I selectively friendly?… Can’t I be with everyone? After talking to her, she told me, to value my friends..  “anak, kahit may mga bagay na ayaw mo sa kanila, mahalin mo sila.. walang taong perperkto…maaaring ikaw, may ayaw din sila sayo.. pero mahal ka nila.. value all your friends…”

Through the years… I was in constant struggle to fit in.. hanggang sa narealize ko.. I don’t have to fit in.. kasi may mga taong darating sa tamang panahon.. tatanggapin ka at mamahalin ka nang hindi ka laging nagsisikap na tanggapin ka.. kasi minahal ka nila bilang ikaw.. at sa kanila, hindi mo kailangang magpretend… kasi you can be yourself without the fear of being judged.

And this holds true until today… tama… with them, I am me, myself. They loved me as I am and unconsciously loving them in return. No whys… no ifs… and definitely no doubts..

This realization doesn’t happen overnight… It was years of struggle.. years of learning to be a better version of me. And still, until now, am a work in progress. Thanks to all who made my life journey a colorful and meaningful ride…

what my vietnamese co-intern told me, might be true..

Truth hurts… but what matters… may ginawa ka.. you learned to value every single person around you.

My High School Circle of Friends (Jovz and Johnoel not in photo)

the ultimate MED MINIONS

and to my medschool best friend: Gagay

Thanks for all the love and acceptance...

And finally, the reason why in the middle of my board review.. I decided to write this “friendship-themed” article…

while I was having breakfast this morning, i texted a friend of mine whom i haven't seen for a long time… and here's how our conversation  goes:

I didn’t say a word about how I feel at the moment… pero may mga tao palang ganun… naiintindihan ka.. wala ka pang sinasabi…

Sabi nga nila… “There comes a point in your life when you realise who really matters, who never did and who always will..”

I indeed have friends more than I deserve… thanks for all the love…